Movie Lists 2009: The year of the WTF?! Bollywood film

Its that time of the year and uncle ebert needs help.

Bollywood lists:

There aren’t enough films to do ten of each in 2009.

Best films of 2009

3 Idiots : a thinking man’s comedy. VVC is truely a studio moghul.

99 : Raja sen writes better screenplays than film crit. Krishna and raj deserve the credit tho.

New York : Honest geo-politics never goes unpunished by critics.

Little Zizou : Dilshad patel must be the prettiest fat woman on the planet.

Sita Sings the blues : not bollywood but nina paley sure gets invited to many desi functions!

(I found five. make better movies and there’ll be more in next year’s list.)

2009 Bollywood what… the….fuck…was…that… films

1. Quick Gun Murugan: Intentionally WTFfy, but also unintentionally wtffy in many ways.

2. Luck by chance: like someone regurgitated guano as food-puke.

3. Paa : More like “what was the need for this?!” than “what the fuck… but then….same difference.

4. Luck: sort of defined “WTF”

5. Dilli 6: Monkey man sonam pegion onthe head wtf?!

6. Chandni Chowk to China: Don’t know whether to put this in he WTF category or to put it in spectacualar crash and burns of 2009(next category) but on the balance, its more WTFFy. Akshay kumar cry-crawled through it like he was om puri in a santhal-exploitation film.

7. Whats your Rashee: more like ….yeah…What Thuh Fuuu?!

Spectacular crash and burns of 2009

These are films which were either overhyped or came with a lot of expectations, but crashed and burned memorably (hey it doesn’t matter how you get publicity as long as you do)

1. Dev D : Assault on senses.

2. Kaminay: badly thought out, sloppily put together…left just tat danan in memory.

3.Billu Barber. Less said the better.

4.Firaaq : Let down because of Nandita Das’s resume. its an ordinary enough film, I just had bigger expectations from Das.

Films I didn’t see , confidently, knowing that I wasn’t missing much

1. London dreams

2.wake up sid

3. Alladin

4. Blue

5.De Dana Dan

6. Jail

Little Sweet morsel of the year: Love aaj kal (only for the lalalala  ho gayi re girl)

Special Kareena Kapoor award : Kambakkth Ishq(which I might not even have watched except that they sent ishita my way on the net).

Shhh! don’t even breathe a word about Dil Bole Hadippa, or Rani Mookharjee will make another film!!

Next: My Hollywood list.


About rameshram

Name : Ramesh Ram... Email Address : (don't even ask) Blog: (never updated) Height/ Weight: 6'1 175 (varies between 160 and 185) Color of hair/ eyes black/ brown Bald? Nope (not yet, but give me 20 years.) Interests: Film (Bollywood/international indie), Travel (Germany/Japan/Central America/Sout/east/west Asia/ Northern Africa), Gizmo geek, Clubbing... What do I like in a good movie?: Women, Music, Auters, Special effects, Style. What do I like in a bad movie?: Women, Music, Auters, Special effects, Style. Favorite Critic: International: Bazin Domestic: J Hobermann Indian : me. (noone else comes close ...India or here..) Best quality: Humility. Outspokenness. Warmth Worst quality: Intolerence Favorite color : Yellow Black Blue Favorite Perfume : men: Grey Flannel(Geoffery Beene) Women: Celine dion: Obsession Boxers / briefs : Boxers Did I inhale: And how! Author: Marquiz, Rushdie, Murakami, Jong Last Book: The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt Music : Patricia Kass, Alejandro Sanz,Nina Simone, Amir Diab Sports person: What am I usually in : White briefs and tees. Chianti or Burgandy: Chianti Food: French Japanese(street/fast food). Saw and liked: No Country for old men, Lust Caution Saw and disliked: Nishabd Didnt see: Aaja Nach le. Call me: Write me first.
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8 Responses to Movie Lists 2009: The year of the WTF?! Bollywood film

  1. my sister said that i should see “Wake Up Sid” cos she said it’s good and it stars Konkona Sen Sharma, who I like a lot.

    “Paa” looks like a –king joke, I thought it was a parody until I found out it wasn’t.

    “New York” would have been OK if it wasn’t for that horrendous Katrina Kaif’s bad acting. I honestly hate her so much, my penis hurts just from thinking about it.

    “Delhi 6” was sooooooooooo f–king lame, with bad acting and a cheesy overdramatic plotline.

    • rameshram says:

      Say one more word about katrina kaif and I’ll put you on an airplane and tell the security guys that you have a muslim name.

  2. Lee says:

    Take it from a NYCer, New York was one big WTF. One of the worst movies on terrorism I have ever seen. It was just laughable but sadly it was not a comedy. The acting (John Neil and Katrina) was terrible too.

    3 Idiots was mediocre. I expected a better movie from Hirani and Aamir. This is the most overrated movie of 2009.

    Paa was funny and sad but could have been better. Good acting by everyone except Boman.

  3. Suman says:

    What do you mean by “assault on the senses” ?

    • rameshram says:

      when someone who doesn’t fully understand how to make films nevertheless pretends he controls the medium, the result is often cacaphony and disharmony. The director often thinks …completely believes….that his film is a masterwork…and sells it to us as such.
      this makes the assault on our senses worse. And we dislike being sold a bill of goods,

  4. ravi swami says:

    Damn Fool !…what’s to miss in Blue ?…why, Kylie Minogue of course…

  5. ravi swami says:

    …and a lot of very good underwater photgraphy…take my word for it…and maybe Lara Dutta in a swimsuit..underwater…

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