Kaminay Vishal Bharadwaj, 2009)

(Addendum: people ask me where the ta tana tada comes from. its the drunk rendition of the james bond theme (here). you just paraphrase the 0:19 phrase by one note, from tadap tadan  dada dan, you say tat ta dan da da dan… To ahieve the eight you say tat ta dan da dada da dan)

In the beginning there was the rain. In the dodgy digital color correction it made everything look fuzzy dark and undifferentiated grey. And then Vishal, taking a leaf from Bertaluchhi’s book , decided to  shoot talking heads. That was between when he shot like Ozu and when he shot like Trantino. In spaces in the middle, cow eaten movie posters peeled off the genre  wall, and revealed , in fervid regretful acid dreams, Tarkovski, Noir,Salvador dali and Robert Bresson.

Indeed Kaminay looks like the Mona Lisa  painted in an acid trip…on a wall …in a toilet…with pee…oh this review is so much fun!

The most charitable thing one can say about the film is that its script is faithful to both indian pulp and film noir traditions, but that like the cinematography, gets washed out in the indifferent color correction.

Perhaps the problem was too much expectation on the film.. but then maqbool was a certified classic. I guess the same thing happenned to ram gopal varma after satya. Maybe im just a sucker for a good tune.. ta tana tada….

Vishaal vishaal  if you wanted to be an asian film you had to open with the ventures-esque tune and worked it and worked it..from a single ragtime trumpet to a full developed orchestral theme and brained your audience with it. If you wanted to be an Indian art noir(a Govind Nihalani film or  an early vidhu vinod chopra movie- sazaaye maut or parinda) you cut out the heavy metal and tighten up the camera work . hire …oh I don’t know!, ravi K chandran to give you some good montage and build your film on this.You want a novelle vague noir? work on the jazz and get a sexy femme without a moral compass  handle a gun. you film just flakes like a kutthu parotta into narrative tangents that begs the question “are you serious?” and “can I have what he’s smoking”

An art masala film is like Hollywood’s holy grail of a “classy fuck movie’ it often degenerates into good intentions and poor follow through.

I might have loved kaminay if the film had started with the climax as it now stands and he had upped the ante from there..i did actually like the love story..vishal is pretty good at showing us romantically forward women.(maqbool, omkara) this is a whole bunch of wasted charecter development. I like queinten tarantino’s or rob zombie’s philosophy , in this regard- if you gotta, kill them early and often. Kaminay tries to make a gangster film a chic flick, without Amitabh bacchan’s pelvic thrusts. Trust me Mr bharadwaj, you cant hold a chick’s attention without some crotch shots in your film.

But look at the bright side, your acid trip in guise of a film shown how Dev D is such a poser druggie film. That should count for something!

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About rameshram

Name : Ramesh Ram... Email Address : Cdrakenc@gmail.com (don't even ask) Blog: (never updated) http://ramesh.journalspace.com Height/ Weight: 6'1 175 (varies between 160 and 185) Color of hair/ eyes black/ brown Bald? Nope (not yet, but give me 20 years.) Interests: Film (Bollywood/international indie), Travel (Germany/Japan/Central America/Sout/east/west Asia/ Northern Africa), Gizmo geek, Clubbing... What do I like in a good movie?: Women, Music, Auters, Special effects, Style. What do I like in a bad movie?: Women, Music, Auters, Special effects, Style. Favorite Critic: International: Bazin Domestic: J Hobermann Indian : me. (noone else comes close ...India or here..) Best quality: Humility. Outspokenness. Warmth Worst quality: Intolerence Favorite color : Yellow Black Blue Favorite Perfume : men: Grey Flannel(Geoffery Beene) Women: Celine dion: Obsession Boxers / briefs : Boxers Did I inhale: And how! Author: Marquiz, Rushdie, Murakami, Jong Last Book: The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt Music : Patricia Kass, Alejandro Sanz,Nina Simone, Amir Diab Sports person: uh..me? What am I usually in : White briefs and tees. Chianti or Burgandy: Chianti Food: French Japanese(street/fast food). Saw and liked: No Country for old men, Lust Caution Saw and disliked: Nishabd Didnt see: Aaja Nach le. Call me: Write me first.
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5 Responses to Kaminay Vishal Bharadwaj, 2009)

  1. Filmi Girl says:

    Ha ha ha!!! Finally, somebody agrees with me that “Kaminey” was a wasted opportunity. And YES, PLEASE on the crotch shots. Seriously. He dared to cast the second best dancer in Bollywood – Shahid Kapoor – and then gave us the worst possible song picturization for him in “Dhan Ta Naaaa.”

    I think I did expect too much after the genius of “Omkara” and “Maqbool”… still, very poor effort from Vishal. Of course, since the film has done so well, we’ll be seeing plenty of immitators…

    My review is here if you are curious:
    http://filmi-girl.livejournal.com/259470.html

  2. KOOLRAAGA says:

    I have not yet seen Kaminey or Maqbool or Omkara or The Blue Umbrella.

    Undoubtedly Vishal Bharadwaj is talented, but every movie need to be his signature work. What Say !?

  3. rameshram says:

    I think you’ll probably be in a better position to judge if kaminay is his signature work after you see it.

  4. Thalassa says:

    Puh-leez – tan ta tan has absolutely nothing to do with the James Bond theme. Did you grow up watching Hindi movies? Tan ta tan is an onomatopoeic way of rendering the theme music during dramatic sequences in Hindi films – a cop chase, a murder scene, and so on. Gosh – why does everything have to be linked to a Western film reference?

  5. rameshram says:

    oh puhleeze.only some of us are tone deaf enough to deny the resemblance, if not influence.

    your need to assert post colonial independence shouldn’t make you a blind defender of eerily familiar tunes.

    they’re both out there. Listen.

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