The Ramesh review of Indian critics. Part I

It has been a boring set of days for the ramesh. at least professionally(personally the he has burgeoned into quite the love of people’s lives that he has touched and is enjoying the experience).

So the Ramesh does what the Ramesh does best.

This is a bird’s eye view of Bollywood criticism, with writing samples and analysis. enjoy.

Subash Jha: One word for you. Sonu Nigam.

Bharadwaj rangan: Reminds me of pauline kael without the personality. I do know that he understands films and criticism, and is probably very academically fortified, but the following sentence :

Ishaan is no doubt a composite of various real children, but he has in him the traces of three specific youngsters from imagined worlds. Like Antoine Doinel from Truffaut’s The 400 Blows, Ishaan is the classic alienated kid, a misfit-dreamer. Like Babla in Gulzar’s Kitab, Ishaan is a misunderstood child who’s not fond of school. (Ishaan’s playtime scuffle with a bigger boy reminded me of Babla entangled with the school bully on the playground. And speaking of Gulzar, is it he who coined the phrase “taare zameen par” thirty years ago, when he wrote the lyrics for Do deewane shehar mein in Gharonda?) And, finally, Ishaan is like Calvin, from the comic strip, whose hyperactive imagination helps him negotiate the tedious everydayness of daily life.

is a representative piece of hypercrit from  rangan. he talks tangential nonsense.  every review is like this 1.ishan in TZP is NOTHING like Antoine Doniel. Antoine Doniel was rebellious and outgoing with no developmental disabiliies. the case Truffut made through his Doniel films was that  the SYSTEM was wrong. the truant was really a part of tradition. The french man was being put upon by a post WW II world. Ishan was just a developmentally disabled child in TZP. 2. Gulzar’s Gharonda was about a homeless couple in bombay trying to find a place. The phrase Taare Zameen par  in the Gharonda song was part of the lyric

“jab taare zameen par chalte hain

Aakash zameen ho jaata hai

woh rat nahin phir ghar jaata

woh chand yahin so jaata hai”

(thus in a fairly tacky way describing the romance of being homeless in the city)  The randomly strung set of words by gulzaar is no more an “invention” of a phrase, than, say, if I claim that Aakash in the song inspired Aamir’s name in  dil chahta hai. 3. Ishan is Nothing like calvin either. calvin is an american suburban kid with an imaginary tiger. ishan is a kid whose autism makes him find outlets for his creative energies in other ways.

Completely spurious analogies and references. I would say pretentious but theyre not even hi falutin’. the man is a fraud.

Khalid Mohammed: Of all the francois truffuat like  film journalists, Khalid mohammed is to my mind, the greatest wasted opportunity. he is knowledgible, writes well, knows everyone in bollywood but ends up writing the most self involved unprofessional criticism in the history of film crit itself.

Dear readers, this shouldn’t happen to you. But imagine! After the first-day-first-show screening of Tashan — directed by first-time-first-slapdash director Vijay Krishna Acharya and umpteenth-time-producer Aditya Chopra – something serious happened to me.

I (as in the seagull) stopped reading. this is not an isolated incident.  this is the man on RGV ki Aag.

And so dear ladies and gentlemen, this Lifetime’s Worst Ever Movie Award goes to Ram Gopal Varma ki Aag, widely reported to be a remake of Sholay Jo Bhadke. The jury was unanimous in awarding it all its topis.. trophies.. whatever.

So imagine, it is my privilege to call upon G P, Sasha, Ramesh and Kiran Sippy to hand over the topi to the producer-director who has literally opened up a can of Varmas.

And the worst piece of criticism award goes to?

clap clap clap….

Rajeev Masand : He reminds me of David Edelstien(Wall Street Jurnal and NPR) i the crisp well written commentary on popular films.

Some snippets: Cheeni Kum:

I think it’s great that someone decided to make a film with food as a backdrop.

Hindi movies have rarely used food and chefs and restaurants as themes, and it’s a pity because food is something that everyone loves so you know you’ve got everyone’s attention from the start.

To digress just a little bit, you must watch one of Ang Lee’s earliest films – Eat Drink Man Woman which is a beautiful film about how a father uses food to keep his family together.

clearly written. People will not be let down if they watched EDMW on rajeev’s reco. It’s as he describes it. Brownie points.

and a good trash: Jimmy (mimoh)

This week I spent close to three hours, trapped in the darkness, suffocating in my seat watching a film that reminded me why the eighties are very deservedly regarded the worst years of Hindi cinema.

Agree with him or no, he has my attention. the first thing a film reviewer needs to get.

I have a few more I ant to do…Sukanya varma, namrata joshi umair mujahair, Sadanand menon…Im trying to keep my posts here short, so people can have fun reading …bharadwaj ranganesque nonsense from Inda’s best…


Part II

Part III


About rameshram

Name : Ramesh Ram... Email Address : (don't even ask) Blog: (never updated) Height/ Weight: 6'1 175 (varies between 160 and 185) Color of hair/ eyes black/ brown Bald? Nope (not yet, but give me 20 years.) Interests: Film (Bollywood/international indie), Travel (Germany/Japan/Central America/Sout/east/west Asia/ Northern Africa), Gizmo geek, Clubbing... What do I like in a good movie?: Women, Music, Auters, Special effects, Style. What do I like in a bad movie?: Women, Music, Auters, Special effects, Style. Favorite Critic: International: Bazin Domestic: J Hobermann Indian : me. (noone else comes close ...India or here..) Best quality: Humility. Outspokenness. Warmth Worst quality: Intolerence Favorite color : Yellow Black Blue Favorite Perfume : men: Grey Flannel(Geoffery Beene) Women: Celine dion: Obsession Boxers / briefs : Boxers Did I inhale: And how! Author: Marquiz, Rushdie, Murakami, Jong Last Book: The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt Music : Patricia Kass, Alejandro Sanz,Nina Simone, Amir Diab Sports person: What am I usually in : White briefs and tees. Chianti or Burgandy: Chianti Food: French Japanese(street/fast food). Saw and liked: No Country for old men, Lust Caution Saw and disliked: Nishabd Didnt see: Aaja Nach le. Call me: Write me first.
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One Response to The Ramesh review of Indian critics. Part I

  1. *tha says:

    talkin about rangan did u give up on him. u r not commentin.and the comment section has become a bore . they r all praisin rangan….

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